Of the group, I live the furthest away from everyone else. Over the years I have had to miss out on hundreds of birthdays, surprise parties, weddings, moving couches and other general type merriment. It is the one thing that sucks about living many hours away, I don't get to see my family. When we do get home, it's usually a big holiday or event type thing and as awesome as it is, it's never enough. Last week I missed another gathering and apparently River Quest '13 is quite the hit. So much so that we have two more poor souls volunteering for "all the fun."
I know I have been pretty clear in my predictions on "fun" and so have the other three knuckle heads. So for two more to join up is quite extraordinary really. I have viewed both of these guys as relatively intelligent. I may have to reconsider that previous assessment! All kidding aside I'm very happy to welcome Greg, my cousin Chasity's husband and Rob, my cousin Jana's husband and Seth's brother-in-law.
Rob has already called dibs on being the "Burt Reynolds" of this Deliverance trip. I guess that leaves Ned Beatty's role up in the air. Honestly, I hope it doesn't come to that but I'm sure it will be Mark... umm... I mean we can vote on it.
Greg brings some much needed youth to this trip and with youth comes innovation. His first question was whether we should put the important camp stuff (beer) in a separate raft to tow behind incase of a capsize that way the important camp stuff (Beer) won't be lost. We could also tie fishing bobbers on the the important camp stuff (BEER) so even if the floating beer trailer goes under we can still salvage the important camp stuff (BEER!) Think Greg is looking forward to cracking a few cold ones?
Cold beers, cigars and cans of beans. I think this is what we have in mind for the camping portion of our show. I hope it actually stops raining long enough to build a fire. Cold beans and soggy cigars doesn't sound as awesome, although it is more probable. Even under the likely conditions I'm looking forward to getting to know Rob and Greg a little better. They married in to the family after I left town. I mean yeah, I know them, but really, just barely. Four days of rowing and cold beans should bring us all together!
For me, maybe that's what this is all about. Bringing the whole family together, even for just a little while, to share some misery, fun and hopefully some stories that will stand the test of time.
Paddle faster, I hear banjo music.
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Monday, February 11, 2013
Do Bears Swim?
So I was telling a friend of mine about this adventure that we are going to partake in and he asks me "What are you going to do about bears?"
I pause then re-explain that we'll be in canoes. "We're NOT hiking," I say almost smugly, "are the bears going to swim out and get us???" Jeez... I think to my self. Swimming bear attacks... City folk.
He replies with the obvious, which I had been missing up until this point, "Are't you tent sleeping in the wilderness? For several days?" Oh... yeah... I kinda forgot about that part. I really had just been thinking about the 25 miles a day canoeing and bug bites and sunburn and constant rain. Sweet. Bears...
Of the four of us who are currently going (I keep hearing we're getting some more but we'll see...) None of us are exactly Grizzly Adams*, granted we all grew up in the country and certainly spent our share of time outside camping, hiking, catching frogs, hunting, fishing and general country boy type of stuff. That, for me at least, has been a LOOONG time ago. I still like all that stuff... I also like log cabins, hot and cold running water, s'mores and wifi. You'll notice I did not put either snakes or bears on my list of likes. Granted it is a short list. "Maybe he didn't have room to list all of his likes" you think to yourself. You would be right. I like a lot of stuff that's not on that list. I don't care how long the list is though, you won't see snakes and bears on there! Hate stupid snakes...
We are keeping an ongoing email back and forth full of everything from packing ideas, logistics, predictions of misery and general shenanigans. The one this morning from Mike talked of shovels and Average Rowing Miles per day. 30, if you're wondering. Per day. Note to self: Pack Advil. A lot.
He also said Mark would be best suited to search for Bigfoot. I can only assume he means the monster and not the monster truck. Mark actually would be best suited for either eventuality now that I think about it.
Mark probably has the most recent tent camping experience of all of us and he is also VERY experienced in... best way to put this... using the bathroom without a bathroom. Very experienced.
Knowing Mark, he is more than likely friends with all of the swimming bears in a 100 mile radius: "Hey Look! It's Schwimmy the Bear! Moooooo!"
*Grizzly Adams was a TV show in the late 70's about a guy and an Native American and a crazy prospector in the the 1800's that basically fought crime in the mountains and protected the wildlife.
I pause then re-explain that we'll be in canoes. "We're NOT hiking," I say almost smugly, "are the bears going to swim out and get us???" Jeez... I think to my self. Swimming bear attacks... City folk.
He replies with the obvious, which I had been missing up until this point, "Are't you tent sleeping in the wilderness? For several days?" Oh... yeah... I kinda forgot about that part. I really had just been thinking about the 25 miles a day canoeing and bug bites and sunburn and constant rain. Sweet. Bears...
Of the four of us who are currently going (I keep hearing we're getting some more but we'll see...) None of us are exactly Grizzly Adams*, granted we all grew up in the country and certainly spent our share of time outside camping, hiking, catching frogs, hunting, fishing and general country boy type of stuff. That, for me at least, has been a LOOONG time ago. I still like all that stuff... I also like log cabins, hot and cold running water, s'mores and wifi. You'll notice I did not put either snakes or bears on my list of likes. Granted it is a short list. "Maybe he didn't have room to list all of his likes" you think to yourself. You would be right. I like a lot of stuff that's not on that list. I don't care how long the list is though, you won't see snakes and bears on there! Hate stupid snakes...
We are keeping an ongoing email back and forth full of everything from packing ideas, logistics, predictions of misery and general shenanigans. The one this morning from Mike talked of shovels and Average Rowing Miles per day. 30, if you're wondering. Per day. Note to self: Pack Advil. A lot.
He also said Mark would be best suited to search for Bigfoot. I can only assume he means the monster and not the monster truck. Mark actually would be best suited for either eventuality now that I think about it.
Mark probably has the most recent tent camping experience of all of us and he is also VERY experienced in... best way to put this... using the bathroom without a bathroom. Very experienced.
Knowing Mark, he is more than likely friends with all of the swimming bears in a 100 mile radius: "Hey Look! It's Schwimmy the Bear! Moooooo!"
*Grizzly Adams was a TV show in the late 70's about a guy and an Native American and a crazy prospector in the the 1800's that basically fought crime in the mountains and protected the wildlife.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
RiverQuest 2013
You would think I would have all my dates and figures together before I started this, but I planned on documenting this and it's already starting so... here we go!
In the summer of 1974, at least I think it was '74... I was pretty young and like I pointed out I am not currently loaded down with facts. Let's just say it was the early mid 70's and pork chop side burns, bell bottom jeans and granny glasses were all the rage. In our little neck of the woods canoeing started to gain a popular foothold. At least it seemed that way to a 4 year old! I suppose it could have been bigger than the frisbee and I wouldn't have had any idea. To me canoeing was really taking off. About that time my Dad, two Uncles and a friend of theirs embarked on a VERY ambitious canoe trip.
When I say ambitious... I want to make clear that when they retell the misery of their trip it seems like they literally made NO ATTEMPT at any real planning. Granted it is much different now. I can pull satellite imagery of the entire river in mere seconds, search thousands of expert's opinions on best tactics and the best food to pack. They had a launch point and an approximate time frame that was, I believe, based around when they all had to be at work on Tuesday morning and beer. A lot of beer. By their telling not enough beer.
The Allegheny River is a main tributary of the Ohio River and it joins the Monongahela in Pittsburgh, PA to form said Ohio. This adventure takes place far north of the Steel City, starting in Warren, PA following the Allegheny to East Brady, PA with about 100 miles of water between them. Four days and three nights, one hundred nautical miles and all the beer they could carry... with no plan.
I don't remember dropping the guys off to start their journey, maybe I wasn't there for it. I do, however, remember being there as they paddled into the boat launch in East Brady. Pouring rain. Four beaten down, but not defeated, men. I don't really remember much talking or celebrating. I actually believe we drove home in silence.
Years later after hearing the stories about the trip I'm certain we drove home in silence. The whole trip was a big sunburnt, soggy, snaky, drunken, soggy, bug bitten, drunken, exhausting mess. A funny thing would happen though when they talked about it. You could tell they loved it. It was tough and it sucked most of the time but they really had fun. They even did it again a year or so later!
Jim, my father, my Uncle Harry and my Uncle Bruce would entertain the entire family with the retelling of the "Canoe Trip" for years to come. So, to no ones surprise, almost 40 years later we still had them telling us the story of "grapefruit breakfast"* and paddling in circles. We enjoyed these stories so much that a few of my cousins and myself jokingly talked about doing the trip. So we could "join the club" if you will. So we could compare notes with our fathers and swap stories. I don't think any of us really thought we would actually consider doing it. Just the thought of it was enough. Right?
On December 22nd 2012 we laid my Uncle Bruce to rest. Tears, a folded flag and 21 guns. A family unsure what to do... how to get through this. Lost.
It was right about this time my cousin Seth, Harry's son, leans into me and whispers "We're doing the trip." His eyes told me it wasn't a suggestion.
Today is February 5th 2013 and here is the plan: Seth (still Harry's son) and myself (Patrick, Jim's son) in boat #1 and Mike and Mark (Bruce's sons) in boat #2 and maybe some more... we'll see. Memorial Day weekend we will attempt to trace our fathers' trip. Maybe we'll remember the stories a little better. Maybe we'll get to know our fathers a little better. Maybe we're saying goodbye the only way we know how.
Welcome to our River Quest.
* The story of "grapefruit breakfast" will get retold here at a later date.
In the summer of 1974, at least I think it was '74... I was pretty young and like I pointed out I am not currently loaded down with facts. Let's just say it was the early mid 70's and pork chop side burns, bell bottom jeans and granny glasses were all the rage. In our little neck of the woods canoeing started to gain a popular foothold. At least it seemed that way to a 4 year old! I suppose it could have been bigger than the frisbee and I wouldn't have had any idea. To me canoeing was really taking off. About that time my Dad, two Uncles and a friend of theirs embarked on a VERY ambitious canoe trip.
When I say ambitious... I want to make clear that when they retell the misery of their trip it seems like they literally made NO ATTEMPT at any real planning. Granted it is much different now. I can pull satellite imagery of the entire river in mere seconds, search thousands of expert's opinions on best tactics and the best food to pack. They had a launch point and an approximate time frame that was, I believe, based around when they all had to be at work on Tuesday morning and beer. A lot of beer. By their telling not enough beer.
The Allegheny River is a main tributary of the Ohio River and it joins the Monongahela in Pittsburgh, PA to form said Ohio. This adventure takes place far north of the Steel City, starting in Warren, PA following the Allegheny to East Brady, PA with about 100 miles of water between them. Four days and three nights, one hundred nautical miles and all the beer they could carry... with no plan.
I don't remember dropping the guys off to start their journey, maybe I wasn't there for it. I do, however, remember being there as they paddled into the boat launch in East Brady. Pouring rain. Four beaten down, but not defeated, men. I don't really remember much talking or celebrating. I actually believe we drove home in silence.
Years later after hearing the stories about the trip I'm certain we drove home in silence. The whole trip was a big sunburnt, soggy, snaky, drunken, soggy, bug bitten, drunken, exhausting mess. A funny thing would happen though when they talked about it. You could tell they loved it. It was tough and it sucked most of the time but they really had fun. They even did it again a year or so later!
Jim, my father, my Uncle Harry and my Uncle Bruce would entertain the entire family with the retelling of the "Canoe Trip" for years to come. So, to no ones surprise, almost 40 years later we still had them telling us the story of "grapefruit breakfast"* and paddling in circles. We enjoyed these stories so much that a few of my cousins and myself jokingly talked about doing the trip. So we could "join the club" if you will. So we could compare notes with our fathers and swap stories. I don't think any of us really thought we would actually consider doing it. Just the thought of it was enough. Right?
On December 22nd 2012 we laid my Uncle Bruce to rest. Tears, a folded flag and 21 guns. A family unsure what to do... how to get through this. Lost.
It was right about this time my cousin Seth, Harry's son, leans into me and whispers "We're doing the trip." His eyes told me it wasn't a suggestion.
Today is February 5th 2013 and here is the plan: Seth (still Harry's son) and myself (Patrick, Jim's son) in boat #1 and Mike and Mark (Bruce's sons) in boat #2 and maybe some more... we'll see. Memorial Day weekend we will attempt to trace our fathers' trip. Maybe we'll remember the stories a little better. Maybe we'll get to know our fathers a little better. Maybe we're saying goodbye the only way we know how.
Welcome to our River Quest.
* The story of "grapefruit breakfast" will get retold here at a later date.
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