Aaaaaaaaand we're back!
When I got out of the truck to start unloading our gear, a few things came quickly into focus. The first was how much my hands hurt. I was thinking "What did I do to my hands? Did they fall asleep and are now all... tingle-y?" Nope. Hands were wide awake. They hurt from the cold. My hands were so cold, they were painful and we hadn't even unloaded the trucks yet. The next thing was the look on all of our faces. I wouldn't call it panic, but I wouldn't call it confidence either! All of us in one way or another questioned if we could even do the trip. Freakishly cold temperatures never really factored into my calculations. I barely and I mean just barely, brought a hooded sweatshirt. I know I mentioned it in the last blog, but that was months ago. I think it deserves being brought up again. It was SNOWING!
So there I was. Freezing. Exhausted. Excited. Nervous. And still a little pissed off from the night before, all the while wearing a borrowed hoodie and ski-mask, packing all I would have for the next four days to keep me alive into the hull of a borrowed (thanks again Jen from Mark's work!) canoe that I didn't even know if it would float, to embark on a 4 day hundred plus mile journey that I wasn't even sure if I could complete in the first place! Oh yeah, it was snowing. Had I mentioned that? So far this seems like an awesome way to kick off the summer holiday...
We're all pretty much different versions of the same smart ass. Always have been. The apples didn't fall very far from the trees. So with 8 smart asses loading canoes it was almost absolutely quiet. Too quiet.
Harry starts us going by informing us "...the nice thing about the cold air is the water won't seem as cold... you know... If you go in!" Really? Learn that in science class?
Dad then lets us know that "...once the sun comes out, I'm pretty sure it will warm you right up! It might even quit snowing! Unless you guys are looking forward to a snowball fight!!!" Thanks Dad... Hilarious as ever.
It did get us talking though. I then reiterate my plan if I find a snake (dead, rubber or otherwise) involving chasing Mark and throwing rocks, sticks and profanities at him. We start joking about how much sunscreen we will save, Mike and Mark about break into a fist fight on two different occasions and next thing you know we are loaded and ready to shove off.
Now it's here. Time to go. Again, if I wasn't so damn cold I might have been more sentimental but I thought the paddling would help warm me up. A quick good-bye and away we go!!
All three boats in the water! Seth and I in Greenie, Rob and Greg in the Hoover (with an inflatable cooler tow-behind no less!) and the Carlson boys in the Carlson Boat. I personally thought it was hilarious to put M&M in the same boat so I could watch them fight! I had visions of having to pull over so they could fist fight. Better than cable!
I was worried about Seth and I riding in the same canoe. The two of us combined had to be at least 460lbs. The heaviest combo in the group. Probably closer to five bills, in one canoe... plus gear, food, water and ammo? Add in an air temp of 34 degrees and I'm not in love with that at all!
Needless to say we sat pretty damn low in the water. The entire trip we were 2 inches from sinking. We also were not very stable. At all. Any given minute we would start rocking side to side uncontrollably. So we couldn't sit still and float or we would capsize. Aaaaalright!!!
But... we could paddle like the wind! Not that it was a race (because Seth and I would have straight SMOKED everyone!) but Greenie and Co. were off to a quick lead, followed buy the USS FistFight with the Brew Canoe not far behind. A few hundred yards down river (once you go in the right direction... It's harder to figure out than it sounds!) there is a short run of little rapids. Seth and I decide, since we can't really turn or float, that speed is our best ally, so we tear off and conquer our first set of rapids! Hooray! Then Seth notices the debris trail...
We turn as quickly as we can (which at this point, was the first intentional turn we had tried...) taking up most of the river to complete our arc but made it upriver quickly (due to our tremendous speed!) As we approached, the beer cans in the water were all we needed to see... Greg and Rob are in the drink. It is freezing. This was no joke.
Seth and I are scooping everything of theirs we can get our hands on into our boat. The fact that we were ready to capsize at any second made this a very enjoyable time! USS FistFight was doing the same as we were both making our way to Greg and Rob.
I have to say this was very scary. We were absolutely on our own in a dire situation with very real consequences, then an incredible thing happened. People talk about doing and seeing incredible things during extreme situations from adrenaline. Well, I know what they mean now. We all do.
Rob picked up the canoe. In about five feet of ICE cold water he hoisted a canoe filled with river water, camping gear, food, Greg, beer and carried it to shore. He CARRIED IT.
Rob is a big boy. About six and a half feet high and built like an oak tree and strong as an ox. Even still, this was incredible...
My first thought was get them warm. My second thought was, that 16 minutes into our trip: It was over.
But OH NO! Not with these tough guys! Na-uh!
After we are all on shore and out of hypothermia danger, Greg looks up and says, "Yinz guys think it's too early to have a beer?" That was all it took. We split up the Fist Fight Twins (probably for the best) put Greg with Mark and Rob with Mike and away we went!
