The Long Answer: Part One

"Soooo.... How was it?"

That, undoubtably, has to be the one question I hear the most.  I have been talking and writing about this Quest for several months.  Anyone who would sit still long enough I would tell them about it or this blog and usually both. It's been exactly two weeks since we finished this epic quest.  So, it only makes sense that people would want to know "How was it?"

The Short Answer:  Awesome.  Wouldn't do it again.

The Long Answer goes something like this:

The weather looked somewhat promising as I headed East with a jeep loaded down with flashlights, machetes, water jugs and Clif Bars.  I had also packed a rain suit "just in case" and an extra hoodie.  I had intentionally NOT looked at a weather report for the areas we would be in.  I was going. Rain or shine.  It turns out I could have said: Rain, shine, sleet, snow and freezing cold.  But no... I wasn't going to look at the weather for fear it would bring me down or something.  Prepared Schma-pared!  I had a machete!

Once I get to my parent's, I make plans with Mike and Seth to meet up at Mark's house and make some final decisions on gear, load up the canoes, finalize leaving/rendezvous times and then everyone get home and get to sleep.  I figured an hour max.  Maybe two hours...

Mike picks me up and we discuss the cooler temps as we drive to Mark's.  It's raining but we agree it's better now than tomorrow.  As we head up the sidewalk, I about jump through my skin, as I almost step on a dead snake.  Laid out, real nice, on display...  Damn it MARK!  I have an effing machete!  Damn it!

Seth and Harry were already there and we start off by marveling at Mark's packing job.  The jug system was well used with him.  He had all of his clothes in a Cheez Puff container.  All of them.  He had another one full of individually packaged bags of potato chips and Doroitos.  The jug looked like there were hundreds of them!  It was beautiful.  Mom and Dad came over for a quick stop to wish everybody a safe trip.  Dad and Harry then gave us a few last tips and questioned all the stuff we were taking.  After an easy hour of fart jokes , theorizing where all the Cheez Puffs went and packing strategy comparisons ,we figure we should load up and get some sleep.  "It will be our last for a while!  Hahahahah!" 

I remember the next several of hours like this:

Ok... where's the trailer?  

Oh.  We have to go get it.  OK. 

Put that snake down!

Wait... what?  We don't know if we can get it?

It's at his neighbor's house and he said it's ok to just come get it?  Who said it's OK?

Does that smell like shit to you?

I am SERIOUSLY not kidding, get that snake away from me.  YES, I KNOW IT'S DEAD!

Is there such a thing as grand theft trailer?

What if we move the Blazer over there, pull this truck up here then back that truck out on the road while the other truck pulls in, while we stop traffic...

Damn! That really smells like shit!

What do you mean you don't think that truck will start???

I will not be held responsible if you bring that damn dead snake near me AGAIN!

Just drive it through the neighbor's effing yard!!!! 

Ok... For the LAST TIME.  WE ARE MEETING AT UNI-MART AT 7AM!!!!

What?  That's the wrong direction?  Oh for the love of....  

Somebody, please get me a fricking MAP, so we can figure out where we are going tomorrow!!!

Ok... we all agree.  Meet at Greg's at 7am?  Five hours from right now.  Great.  Someone tell Greg and Rob.  See you assholes tomorrow.