Two weeks from right now I will be eating a cold can of beans and an uncooked hotdog, wondering why my 3 Tarp Dry (even in a downpour) Campsite System isn't working and asking Seth if he has a spare MRE. Let me run that one past you again. TWO WEEKS! Shit. I am in no way ready for this... and I still can't wait!
I am actually looking forward to packing up the jeep (if it hasn't been stolen...) and driving 4 hours then unpacking and reloading and driving another 2 plus hours. Then trying to fit all this gear that we all bring that Seth said we wouldn't need "Not in MY boat!" into 3 hopefully seaworthy canoes. Launching ourselves into a whole new (old) adventure, that let's be honest, we're just hoping to make it... with our sanity. Which brings us to Mark.
Now, I say this with nothing but love, but... my cousin Mark has a gift for pushing peoples buttons. He is exceptional at finding out what slightly bugs you then whipping that slight annoyance into a frothy stark raving mad episode. Don't believe me? Call his house sometime. Go through 15 minutes of "Hello? Hello? Helloooooo? Who is this?" and tell me you're not a little peeved!
I've been witness to normal, sane people so angry with Mark they will actually chase him in hope of stopping the madness... but no. With a maniacs laugh and the speed of the Devil himself, he will taunt, elude and evade all of my best attempts to catch him and shut his stupid mouth!!! At least that's what I've heard...
When we have all talked about who will steal the show with this adventure, it's universally agreed it will be Mark, for multiple reasons really. Aside from his unholy gift of annoyance Mark is just good at stuff. Specifically this kind of stuff. He'll show up with a Dukes of Hazzard thermos full of coffee and a Batman sleeping bag, throw a rock and knock a pheasant out of the air, it will land in the fire he made by rubbing two sticks together it will cook perfectly he'll share it with Greg and Schwimmy the Bear and sleep peacefully through the night. That will just be the first day. By the second day I'm certain he will have fashioned a kite to pull his canoe so he doesn't have to row and can spend more time perfecting his moose call... I actually had chills just run down my spine... All the while he'll be randomly blowing shit up.
Mark doesn't get involved with the email conversations we have. When asked for his email address, after 15 minutes of, "Hello? Hello? Hellooooo? Who is this?" (annoying isn't it?) His answer was: an Eee whaaat? So we had to confirm with smoke signals that he was indeed going on the trip. In a conversation in person he says "Four days on the water? Can I bring my kazoo?" A resounding "Absolutely not!" boomed off the kitchen walls. I said I might bring a guitar and he didn't think that was fair and I said "No one has ever wanted to shoot a guitar out of my hands, I don't think you'd fair as well." Which means of course he's bringing a kazoo...
Around Easter time we were possibly going to have a seventh member of our party and to even out the boats I asked Gary, a High School friend of mine who knows most or all of us and is easily one of the most laid back easy going guys I know, if he had any interest in joining up. He talked a few minutes of his great fear of snakes and how that would really be something difficult for him to deal with and then he says:
"Buzz, I would really love to go. I'll bet it will be an awesome time but jeez... Four days with Mark. I just don't think I could do it."
I hear ya ,Gary...
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