Ladies and Gentlemen, The Call of the River's second guest blogger and organizer:  Seth!!

First: I would like to thank my cousin for this opportunity to add to one the few remaining non-porn websites left on the internet.

Now, since the day we picked the date for the trip, I’ve spent hours thinking, planning, and preparing for this quest. To me that’s exactly what it is: a quest. Not a fun weekend around the campfire with family. Not leisurely days spent drifting down the Allegheny River. But; a Quest; something to be completed; an expedition; something that each of us must finish. This will be 4 days of self inflicted torture and torment. My thoughts are about getting to the end, not how to take pleasure in the time we spend doing it. And while that may be a negative view of things, it’s my only goal. 

We’ve all talked a great deal about supplies and preparations. And I can’t shake the feelings of wow, that’s a lot of gear, or these canoes still need to float, you know. Maybe it’s me. Maybe I just don’t get it. Maybe I took Army lessons too seriously. After all; I’m no longer wearing camouflage on a regular basis. I spent some time as a soldier and am no stranger to being “in the field.”

I remember the 3 B’s that Sgt. Barkman taught us: Bullets, Beans, and Blankets. Those three things are a prioritized list of what a soldier needs to survive in the field. First you need ammunition to keep up the fight; next you do actually need food on occasion. And lastly are those comfort items. Things like blankets or dry socks to keep your feet from falling off. You can still return fire without feet but it’s much harder to assault a hilltop. No, I don’t expect enemy contact on this “mission”. But I would like to be able to fend off a curious bear. 

I do plan to bring food. Shelf stable items like canned soup and protein bars won’t get ruined when the canoe carrying the cooler flips over at the first rock we straddle. Nor will they require the ice that won’t last all 4 days. 

To be clear, I’m not against eating well. I just don’t see it working out. I also consider myself to be famine resistant. A day without food, while unpleasant, won’t kill me. Perhaps I’m too pessimistic. 

I’m also reminded of Murphy’s Law; that anything can go wrong will go wrong. I’ve learned over the years that for the most part Murphy was wrong. Most things go just fine. But those are never the things I remember. Those times also don’t make good stories. I remember the times when things went horribly, horribly wrong. And those stories are hilarious, when you aren’t part of them. And whether Murphy was a genius or an idiot, I do see a direct correlation to the number of things we take along and the number of things to lose, break, and watch fail as we rely on them most. 

Those of us going on this adventure will feel differently about one another when this is over. Some of us will be closer and some of us might not feel the need to speak to each other next time we’re all together. And… that’s ok. As long as we finish what is we’ve all set out to do. To get from point A to point B, alive and reasonably on time; that is the quest. 

With all that being said, I expect us to complete the quest. While I’m a pessimist, I’m also a gambler. I like to play the odds. Odds are that the ice won’t last. Odds are someone will flip a canoe somewhere on this journey and possessions will be lost and ruined. And the odds are also good that no one will get seriously hurt at all. The good odds are that with canned grapefruit sections or fresh fruit, we’ll make it. We’ll be tired. We’ll be cranky. We’ll be whiny. We’ll be angry. But we’ll also be just fine. And we will have done what our fathers before us have done. We will have completed our quest.