There have been many things that have surprised me on this quest for our Quest. First and foremost is that we are actually going to do it! Six days and we're off. Amazing.
The other surprises were that, to date, three of us have written about our quest! Who would have ever thought that? Not I! I have aspirations to get the other guys on here too. Share your feelings ya big sissies!
That being said I am so pleased to give you Mike's third entry to "The Call..."
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I Had a Dream.
OK, technically the premise for this blog came from a recent visit with Aunt Donna, Aunt Jean and Uncle Earl and Cousins Jerry and Kristen. Work with me folks, for the purpose of this blog it was a dream.
Our much anticipated canoe adventure had finally arrived. With the excitement that accompanies any trip we made the two plus hour drive to Warren, PA. Shortly after entering the river, our worst possible fear was realized, Mark had brought a kazoo. This was going to be a long trip. We had three and a half days in front of us and we were all ready to kill Mark after 15 minutes.
Fast forward to Friday night – In an attempt to flee a snake (I hate snakes) I trip and fall face first into a mushroom. For those of you who don’t know, I am deathly allergic to mushrooms. Not just itchy eyes and a runny nose, we are talking anaphylactic with among other things my throat swells shut.
Back to the dream, this is not good. For some reason my Epi-pens don’t work and my throat is closing quickly. Patrick, Seth and Rob are attending to the matter at hand while Greg decides that drinking a beer at this time would be a good idea. Meanwhile, Mark has called upon his animal friends including Schwimmy the Bear and a few Squatches that happen to be in the area. After Mark learns from his friends that there is no easy route to civilization and help, it is decided that a tracheotomy is my best bet.
Now we have two problems; 1) should we use a Rambo style survival knife or a machete to perform the tracheotomy and 2) what will we use for a trachea tube? I don’t remember how, but it is decided that the survival knife is a better option than a machete. Now for the tube, I do distinctly remember Schwimmy saying, “Why don’t you just use Mark’s f@&#ing kazoo?”
Somehow, the procedure is a success and come Saturday morning we are on our way. Again, fast forward to Monday evening when we complete our journey in East Brady. What had started as a crew of six has finished with only five members and the authorities are asking questions.
Directly from the official police report – “It appears that Mr. Carlson was doing quite well and would no doubt have survived the trip had the other members of his group not removed his trachea tube earlier today.” When asked why they had removed the tube that would certainly lead to the demise of Mr. Carlson, an unnamed member of the crew stated, “Have you ever listened to a kazoo for over 48 straight hours?”
Upon hearing their reasoning, authorities immediately decided that charges would not be forthcoming!
Dream on, less than 2 weeks to go!
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